World News • Investigative

Competence vs. Confidence

The Science behind Filler Words

By Abby Mullarney '27 in Winter 2026

Filler words are quick, common and unavoidable — they permeate Marin Academy’s hallways, English seminars, and day-to-day conversations. Yet they are judged harshly: speakers who use filler words are perceived to be less prepared, confident, or intelligent. However, research suggests that filler word usage subconsciously serves communicative and social purposes.

Filler words, such as “um,” “like,” or “you know,” are discourse markers that help manage verbal interaction. Contrary to popular belief, they don’t indicate incompetence — linguists argue that filler words help organize thoughts, increase sociability, and manage conversational flow. The stereotype of the “valley girl” — an affluent white teenage girl portrayed as unintelligent due to excessive filler word use — may reinforce that misconception. However, recent studies from UCLA’s Language and Life Project show that men and women use filler words at similar rates: the male average was 9.65 filler words per session, compared to the female average of 11.88. Patterns varied, though: women preferred “like” (72% of usage), while men favored the more definitive “yeah” (69% of usage), often perceived as more confident.

Research from the Stanford Graduate School of Business emphasizes that filler words are intentional reflections of social and cultural norms rather than aptitude. Expert Matt Abrahams notes that “like” signals for continuation of speech, managing conversational flow, and asserting presence. Women frequently use “like” when overlooked or interrupted, indicating social pressures associated with gender and speech. Linguist Adam Aleksic adds that filler words act as hedges, softening statements to avoid sounding overtly assertive. For many teenagers — particularly girls — hedging a sentence allows them to both express opinions and maintain social acceptance.

Additionally, cultural influence reinforces speech patterns and social mirroring. Exposure to social media and reality TV shows, such as The Kardashians or Love Island, encourages impressionable teenagers to imitate — thus reinforcing the valley girl stereotype.

Although filler words serve vital communicative functions, they are often judged through a gendered lens that equates confidence with definitiveness. As Marin Academy prioritizes student voice and advocacy, recognizing filler words as functional rather than flawed can foster a compassionate academic space — one that uplifts young women without penalizing the ways they have been conditioned to speak.